I am unable to make a decision about stupid things without spending hours thinking about it from every possible angle.
Simple conversations are replayed by my brain at stupid o'clock in the morning wondering if I made myself understood, wondering if I made a fool of myself, wishing I'd said something else or wishing I'd not said anything at all.
If I make a quick decision I spend days convincing myself I was right, then intermittently telling myself I was wrong.
It's tiring, my brain takes over and ties itself in knots and stresses and worries about the stupid little details other people probably didn't even notice.
I'm not as bad as I was. I used to not do or say things at all for fear of doing or saying the wrong things.
It's taken years to learn to live with my brain and the one thing that's helped is to finally realise at the age of 43 that I'm actually a nice person and for the first time in my life I like myself. I used to worry far too much about what other people thought about me, spent far too much time and energy on it.
My name is Carla, I'm funny, naughty, cheeky, caring and a loyal friend to those that treat me right.
It's called anxiety and weldone for getting, though it, I am still suffering it rears it's ugly head everytime I want to do something new
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